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Tiger Woods Affair Rumors: Why Some Men Cheat
Posted under Sex Addiction in the News on Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
The rumors that Tiger Woods was cheating on his wife, former Swedish model Elin Nordegren, have brought to light the question of why some men cheat on attractive women. Although the rumors haven’t been confirmed by Woods, he recently admitted to “transgressions” and “personal sins,” and apologized for hurting his family after a car accident raised eyebrows.
This week, Woods backed his car into a fire hydrant and a tree in the middle of the night, and his wife was said to have broken the back windshield of the car with a golf club in an attempt to help him. Woods refused to speak publicly about the nature of the accident, and has withdrawn from upcoming tournaments citing injuries from the accident. Woods’ secrecy fueled rumors of an affair, and former VH1 reality star and cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs recently told Us Weekly that she and Woods had been having an affair since meeting in Las Vegas in 2007—two months before Woods’ wife gave birth to their first child.
Grubbs told Us Weekly that their 31-month relationship included 20 sexual encounters, and that she was sorry Woods’ wife would be reading these intimate details. Woods has also been linked to Rachel Uchitel, who manages VIP events at successful clubs in New York, though she denies any involvement with the golfer. Life & Style magazine also recently featured an article on Kalika Moquin, a marketing manager at a Las Vegas club, claiming she “hooked up” with Woods several times.
After Us Weekly reported Grubbs’ story, Woods stated that he let his family down and that he regrets these “transgressions” with “all of (his) heart.” He writes on his website: "I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone."
Many people are shocked that Woods would risk losing his beautiful wife, and although the public doesn’t know the behind-the-scenes details of their marriage, infidelity experts say it’s not surprising that guys like Woods seek sex outside of their marriage.
Cosmopolitan magazine writes that the reasons some men are unfaithful are rarely about the sex itself, but because cheating fuels a deep psychological need. "Several factors make some men more likely to stray, even if they are dating or married to a beautiful woman," says Don-David Lusterman, PhD, author of Infidelity: A Survival Guide.
The first factor is the man’s level of success. Men in high-profile, powerful positions (such as celebrities, athletes, business executives, and politicians) often have a sense of superiority and entitlement. "These guys have achieved a certain status, and bedding several attractive women further reinforces it in their mind," says Lusterman. Moreover, these men are constantly on the road, away from their girlfriends and wives, and their prominence attracts women who offer no-strings-attached sex. "They may have a wonderful partner waiting at home, but the situation they’re in, coupled with their role of pursuer, makes it that much easier to cheat," adds Lusterman.
Plenty of “regular” men are unfaithful too, especially when their backgrounds condone it. Many cheaters come from chauvinistic cultures or families where their fathers cheated. “There are internal blueprints (created by watching our parents) that make cheating more of an option for some guys,” says Dr. Debbie Magids, author of All the Good Ones Aren’t Taken. Men who were ignored as children often develop deep trust issues, which can make long-term relationships difficult. “Chronic cheating is rooted in an emotional emptiness that can give people the need to feel constantly desired,” she says.
Some men who cheat suffer from sexual addiction and other mental disorders. Sex addicts, for example, are so enslaved to the rush of sexual activity that they have affairs, visit prostitutes, and compulsively watch pornography. "Ironically, many of them have happy relationships and feel guilty for cheating, but they can’t stop," says Lusterman. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder can’t resist the temptation because he is obsessed with being adored.
"It’s important to pay attention to the warning signs, but whether a man will stray or not boils down to his level of honesty within the relationship and his loyalty to you," says Lusterman.
