How the 12 Steps Heal Sex Addicts: Step Ten

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

How the 12 Steps Heal Sex Addicts: Step Eight

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

How the 12 Steps Heal Sex Addicts: Step Seven

Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove these shortcomings.

How the 12 Steps Heal Sex Addicts: Step Five

Step 5: Admitted to ourselves, God, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

How the 12 Steps Heal Sex Addicts: Step Two

Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

12-Step Fellowships for Sexual Addictions Focus on Sexual Sobriety

For people battling sexual addiction and sexually compulsive behaviors, it can be difficult to talk about the problem, much less find a group-based support group. Like addictions to drugs and alcohol, breaking an addiction to sex requires serious emotional and physical work, typically with a focus on sexual sobriety—and several 12- Step groups can be found to address the sexual addiction on different levels.
 

Pornography Addiction Can Be Difficult to Overcome, But Not Impossible

Most individuals who have been in committed and seemingly loving relationships for many years would find it difficult to stomach the revelation that their spouse had cheated on them. In a recent Mormon Times report, a sexual addiction led to so much more between a husband and wife.

Sexual Compulsivity Anonymous Offers Healing and Sexual Sobriety

Individuals who are trying to deal with sexual compulsivity may often find that they are trying to fight a losing battle. Some do not understand that what they are dealing with is beyond their control and without seeking help; they are more and more likely to act out with dire consequences. Sexual compulsivity is often considered a curse by those who seek to live a normal life, yet feel controlled by desires and impulses.

Understanding Triggers and Hot Spots Helps in Addressing Sexual Compulsivity

Addictions are something that many individuals deal with, whether it is an addiction to drugs, gambling, food, caffeine or even sex. Generally present in addictions are triggers, or things that occur throughout the day that will “trigger” an action, use of a substance or an indulgence in something that satisfies the addiction.

Taking Charge of What You Need to Know About Your Sexually Compulsive Partner’s Behavior

When you first learn of your partner’s sexual addiction, it’s a crushing feeling. No matter what you tell yourself about how it can’t be true, that it didn’t happen, you know in your gut that it is true, it did happen – and now you have to deal with it as best you can. Powerful emotions flood your every waking moment. First you think you’ll throw the sexually-compulsive cheater out. Then you reconsider. After all, you did make a commitment. Then, your thoughts go back to the fact that this is a person you thought you knew, and now isn’t to be trusted. What should you do?

The answer may surprise you. One of the most empowering things you can do now – admittedly a low point in your life – is to take charge of what you need to know about your sexually-compulsive partner’s behavior. But what does this really mean. Better yet, how do you go about it? Read on.

Take Stock of the Situation

First you need to take stock of your current situation. While you may initially think the situation is obvious – your partner cheated on you, one way or another – it’s much more than that. You need to take into consideration how long the partnership or marriage has existed, what type of relationship the two of you have enjoyed during that time, if there are any children involved, your financial circumstances – as a couple and individually, and whether you are currently employed or are dependent upon your partner.

There are other considerations as well, including whether this is the first time you’ve discovered your partner’s sexual transgressions, whether his or her sexual behavior has become more and more flagrant and/or escalated in intensity, frequency and variety. Chances are, if this is the first time you’ve noticed the behavior, or the first time it has been drawn to your attention, the sexually-compulsive behavior may be in its initial stages. That’s the good news.

If such behavior has been escalating for some time and you’ve secretly been somewhat aware but chose to look the other way, excuse it, deny it, or tell yourself it didn’t matter, the sexual compulsiveness may have already intensified to the point of addiction. If so, the sexually-compulsive partner most likely has a rock-solid system in place for perpetuating his or her out-of-the-norm sexual behaviors – including an elaborate web of alibis, lies, and half-truths. Your partner has, in effect, become adept at putting one over on you. That’s the bad news.

Once you take stock of your personal situation, you’re ready for the next step: making a decision.