1.) Sex provides a sense of well-being. In a healthy relationship, sex gives partners feelings of safety, connection, and affirmation. It may take time for the feelings of danger, disconnection, and shame to dissipate, but it just takes patience and perseverance.

2.) Emotional and physical sensations are felt. Both partners should have a positive experience in a healthy intimate relationship, and both should be aware of their own emotional vulnerability and physical sensations. There should be no need for “numbing.”

3.) Creativity and passion are rediscovered. This isn’t limited to sexual activity, as both partners can rediscover an authentic creative activity, such as playing music. In a healthy relationship, sex no longer needs to be the only outlet for emotional expression.

4.) You nurture yourself in non-sexual ways. Healthy sexuality is experienced more authentically if you regularly experience pleasure in other ways besides masturbation.

5.) Suffering is a tolerated as a part of life. It is important to be able to cope with disappointment, grief, and difficulty without resorting to sexual relief.

6.) You can be emotionally vulnerable. Sex addicts often fear betrayal and sexualize their feelings to protect themselves from vulnerability. In a healthy intimate relationship, you realize that emotional vulnerability is essential to relating honestly with others.

7.) You develop and maintain healthy boundaries with others. Sex addicts struggle with boundaries, either being too rigid or not recognizing the importance of boundaries. By developing healthy boundaries, you can be vulnerable and safe at the same time.

8.) Sexuality is well-balanced and moderate. Sex addicts live in extremes—either experiencing excessive sexual tension or repressed sexual feelings. In a healthy relationship, you can control your sexual energy in an appropriate way.

9.) You are curious and caring about other people’s reactions to you. In healthy intimacy, you can try to understand things from other people’s points of view, rather than taking what they say personally and reacting emotionally.

10.) You learn to trust others. To treat sexual addiction, you must first focus on trusting yourself. Then you can use healthy boundaries to keep yourself safe with trusting others.